About This Course
How to Take This Course

1 Essentials of Negotiating .....1

Two Views of Negotiating
What Negotiating Is

Negotiating Is a Process
Negotiating Takes Place Between People
Negotiating Is About Needs
Every Negotiation Is Different
Sometimes It's Easy and Sometimes It Ain't

The Process, Or What's Going On Here?

Who's Across the Table?
What's Going on over There?
What's Going on over Here?
What's Going on Between Us?
Three Negotiating Criteria

Negotiating Requires Willingness and Ability
The Importance of Being Flexible

Be Willing to Talk About Your Relationship
Be Willing to Change Your Process
Avoid Fixed Beliefs
Be Patient

The Objective: Meeting Needs

Understand Others' Needs
Make It Easy for Others to Understand Your Needs
Accept that Needs Are Valid
The Five Basic Needs
Listen on Two Levels
Why Others Don't Tell Us
Needs vs. Solutions

The Importance of Knowing the Rules

Knowing the Rules Gives Us Options

Negotiating Is a Process of Dissolving Blocks

Blocks Exist for a Reason
Use Others' Energy for Your Mutual Advantage
The Sources of Our Blocks

Summary
Review Questions

2 How to Prepare for a Negotiation .....21

The Objective in Preparing for a Negotiation
Step One: Prepare; Don't React

Triggering Events Can Keep Us from Preparing
Use Triggering Events to Advantage in Preparing

Step Two: Get the Facts

Don't Make False Assumptions
Facts Checklist
Explore the Data
We Both Need the Same Data

Step Three: Determine the Importance of the Current Situation

Measuring Importance Tells Us What We Need

Step Four: Clarify Needs and Distinguish Between Needs and Solutions
Step Five: Generate Multiple Options

What If We Don't Know What to Do?

Step Six: Know the Other Party
Summary
Review Questions

3 You Get What You Believe .....35

Perceptions and Beliefs

When We Believe that We Can
When We Believe that We Can't
Others Mirror Our Beliefs
Our Beliefs Need to Be "For Real"

Beliefs Influence Our Negotiations

Where Do Our Beliefs Come From?
Beliefs Form a Filter System
Everyone Has a Unique Filter
Assume Different Perspectives
False Assumptions Can Lead to Righteous Positions

Self-limiting vs. Empowering Beliefs

Self-limiting Beliefs
Empowering Beliefs

Beliefs Create Boundaries

Show Stoppers
Scorekeeper Beliefs
Peacemaker Beliefs
"I Need to Prove Myself" Beliefs

What to Do with Our Self-limiting Beliefs

Option One: Check Out the Data
Option Two: Get Input from Others
Option Three: Take It a Step at a Time
Option Four: Resolve Past Issues
Option Five: Take a Break

Summary
Review Questions

4 Identify and Remove the Blocks .....57

Negotiating Equals Removing Blocks
Blocks Within Us

Beliefs that Stop Us
Negotiate Fears Up Front
Afraid They Will Get Angry
Enough Time?

Relationship Blocks

Relationships Need to Be Safe
Relationships Need to Be Respectful
Relationships Need to Be Resolved
Distinguish Between Problems and Conflicts

Process Blocks

Make It Safe
Make It Fair
Make It Effective

Blocks in Applicable Criteria

Lack of Established Standards
Disagreement About Validity of Established Criteria
Different Interpretations of Criteria
How to Prevent Criteria Blocks

Summary
Review Questions

5 Dealing with Difficult People .....81

Our Objective in Dealing with Difficult People
Enforcers

Enforcer Assumptions
Enforcer Behaviors
How to Respond to Enforcers

Scorekeepers

Scorekeeper Behaviors
How to Respond to Scorekeepers

Peacemakers

Peacemaker Behaviors
How to Respond to Peacemakers

Rebel Producers

Rebel Producer Assumptions
Rebel Producer Behaviors
How to Respond to Rebel Producers

Summary
Review Questions

Bibliography .....107
Post Test .....109
Exercise 1 Case Study .....117
Exercise 2 case Study .....127
Selected Readings .....137
Index..... 143

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